Aaron Miller

on May 20, 2025

• 22 min read

Summary

In part two of our conversation with Professor Chad Ford, we take a deeper look at what it means to be a professional peacemaker. Chad shares the realities of mediation work—the challenges, the setbacks, and the deeply rewarding moments that come with helping others resolve conflict. We explore the many paths to a career in peacemaking, from family and organizational mediation to international peacebuilding, and discuss why authentic curiosity and self-reflection are essential for anyone drawn to this work. Chad also shares his path to a career in conflict resolution around the world. Whether you’re considering this work or simply want to bring more peace to your own life, Chad’s story and insights will inspire you to see conflict—and its resolution—in a new light.

About Our Guest

Chad Ford is an international conflict mediator, facilitator, and peace educator known for his extensive peacebuilding work around the world. He holds a Master’s in Conflict Analysis and Resolution from George Mason University and a JD from Georgetown. He directed the David O. McKay Center for Intercultural Understanding at BYU–Hawaii for nearly twenty years, where he developed programs in intercultural peacebuilding. In 2024, Chad joined Utah State University, teaching courses on religion, peace, and mediation.

He has worked in conflict zones globally, facilitated for governments, NGOs, and corporations, and serves on the board of Peace Players International. Chad is the author of Dangerous Love and 70x7, books that explore transforming conflict and Christian peacebuilding. His hands-on experience gives him a unique perspective on resolving conflicts in families, organizations, and communities worldwide.

Useful Links

Chad Ford’s Book, Dangerous Love:

https://dangerouslovebook.com

Chad's Substack:

https://chadford.substack.com/

Alfred Nobel and the Peace Prize:

https://www.nobelprize.org/alfred-nobel

Bertha Von Suttner:

https://www.nobelprize.org/prizes/peace/1905/suttner/biographical/

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Transcript

[00:00:00] Chad Ford: David Whippy, who is now the director of the McKay Center at BYU Hawaii, was a Fijian rap star. Went under the name WIP Z; came to BYU Hawaii from Fiji; was taking some psychology courses when someone told him, "Oh, you should try to take this peace building course." And I was so surprised that he would come into my class and you would see all these Fijians looking through the glass with their phones, like trying to take pictures of him, because he was really, really famous in Fiji.

[00:00:28] Aaron - Narration: Hi, I'm Aaron Miller. And this is How to Help, a podcast about having a life and career with meaning, integrity, and impact. This is season three, episode three: professional Peacemaking. How to Help is proud to be a part of the BYU Radio Family of podcasts.

You've almost certainly heard of the Nobel Prize, but did you know that Alfred Nobel, who funded the prize, manufactured and sold weapons for war?

At the time, his company was actually the largest in Europe. Now, Nobel didn't set out with this as a goal. He was a chemist and the inventor of dynamite, the blasting cap, and other innovations that made industries like mining safer for the workers. And this was the primary beginning of what became his vast wealth.

It was later in life that he turned these inventions into weapons. And though Nobel was a supplier of war, he wasn't a war monger. In fact, he was convinced that as more powerful weapons became available, humanity would've no choice but to seek peaceful resolutions to their conflicts. The alternative in his mind was utter destruction.

But Nobel never lived to see the invention of nuclear weapons.

It might be argued that the power to destroy the world thousands of times over did encourage negotiations between nuclear states, but people still today are being killed by guns and landmines and tanks and missiles. It seems obvious by now that Nobel's vision of a peaceful world is never going to be built on mutual fear.

Albert Einstein even gave a speech after the first nuclear bombs were dropped in Japan by US forces. Einstein used the occasion to invoke Nobel and he said this, "Alfred Nobel invented an explosive, more powerful than any known, an exceedingly effective means of destruction. To atone for this accomplishment, and to relieve his conscience, he instituted his award for the promotion of peace."

Near the very end of his life, Nobel saw peace differently, mostly thanks to the friendship of a former secretary ,named Bertha Von Suttner. She was a lifelong peace activist and, although she worked for Nobel many years earlier and only briefly, they had a friendship that lasted for decades. Von Suttner spent that entire time trying to persuade Nobel to bring his intelligence and financial resources to the pacifist movement, and she consistently failed to convince him.

Only at the end of Nobel's life did her efforts finally bear fruit. In 1888, Alfred allegedly saw an obituary in a French newspaper that was written after his brother's death, except the paper mistakenly thought it was Alfred who had died. It wasn't kind stating only this "A man who cannot very easily pass for a benefactor of humanity died yesterday in Cannes. It is Mr. Nobel, inventor of dynamite."

The next year, Von Suttner wrote a book called Throw Down Your Arms, and it amazed Nobel who praised the way she "made war on war." More letters followed in which Nobel and Von Suttner discussed the idea of a prize for the promotion of peace. Alfred rewrote his will in 1895, died the following year, and the Nobel Prizes were born.

Not only did Bertha Von Suttner win the fourth ever Nobel Peace Prize, and was the first woman to win it, she played a key role in the prize's very creation. But for her, it might never have existed. And the most amazing part is that she did this great thing, not by threats of violence or stoking fear, but by persuasion and peacemaking.

This story embodies the reason for this episode, part two of my conversation with Professor Chad Ford. You last heard him talking about how we can establish more peace in our own lives. In this interview, we'll be talking about how to build peace for others. Professional peacemaking, as it were.

[00:04:44] Chad Ford: As far as the job goes itself, it's hard. It's really, really hard. It takes time. It takes a lot of patience. As a mediator, you often have to push to surface disputes for people, which often turns you into the enemy because you're making people uncomfortable or you're asking people to talk about stuff when most people's conflict style is avoidance and they don't really want to talk about it at all.

But you're asking all of these really hard questions and it makes it really, really difficult. There's a lot of failure involved. If I'm just being honest, I do not have a hundred percent track record or anything close to it. It's, it's, you know, more like maybe in the fifties or like, you know, low sixties of we get where we want to go.

[00:05:25] Aaron - Narration: Maybe talking about the difficulty of the job is not the best way to begin, but trust me, there are encouraging things to come. I just wanted to start with this so we've set out on solid footing. You may listen to this episode and feel called to be a peacemaker for others. I just want to make it clear that professional peacemaking is a tough job.

[00:05:49] Chad Ford: That's hard because a lot of times I have to walk away from those things. And you know, the very delicate question between, "Was this me? Did I just not do this right?" or "Is this just a case where the parties aren't ready?" I can do everything right. And it doesn't matter because the parties themselves just aren't ready to do it. Are there other factors involved, like mental health issues, for example, where they, they really should be in therapy before they are in mediation?

[00:06:16] Aaron - Narration: To be honest, there aren't many jobs you get to keep when you only succeed a little over half the time, and especially where you don't even know if the failure was your fault.

So what exactly is the job of being a professional peacemaker? You've probably heard it called "mediator." Essentially, the work of mediators is to bring people to a resolution where conflict is costly. And I mean, conflict is always costly, but mediators come in when the parties have a strong incentive to find a way forward together.

Where are the jobs for mediators?

[00:06:50] Chad Ford: There's a lot of paths, and it is, as you pointed out, a really viable, viable job. Um. It goes from everything from people who are working in family spaces and anymore you're seeing social workers and, uh, marriage and family therapist and, and psychologists that are picking up mediation skills. And so I've worked with a lot of psychologists and therapists and what have you as an add-on skill right? Now they have a skill that I don't have. I'm not a therapist, I'm not, I'm not trained to do that sort of mental health work that they're so skilled at. But mediation and conflict resolution end up playing a really big part.

[00:07:27] Aaron - Narration: Those are all the places where you might have expected mediation and professional peacemaking, but businesses and other workplaces need effective mediators too.

[00:07:36] Chad Ford: In an organizational sense, the number one space where you see people fall into this is in human resources, right? Like human resources are constantly

resolving conflict between employees and their, their bosses, sometimes with customers, with any sort of challenges that are happening in the organization. And, uh, it's a great entry level type of job where you can get lots of mediation experience, having some conflict resolution. Certificate mediation training is a huge plus on your resume to get in and often those people, and we've, we've have alumni who do that, end up getting promoted fairly quickly throughout the organization, because organizations need problem solvers.

And where early on I was hired in a lot of more of the social context, increasingly the requests that I get are from organizations, uh, to come in because conflict is affecting their bottom line. The, the inability of people to work together in that space is affecting them and hitting them financially. I'll just add because people are like, "Is there any money in that?" There's amazing money, um, in that, right? If, if people are losing millions of dollars because they can't work together, you'd be shocked at what corporations are willing to pay to try to get that problem solved.

Then for a few years, I even would offer essentially like a lawyer, a contingency fee. Like if, if I don't help, I get nothing, but if I help you said it's costing you X amount of dollars. I want 10% of that. Right. So I'll, I'll shoot for the moon and, and I, and I'm usually fairly confident that I can help.

[00:09:13] Aaron - Narration: Okay. Maybe the money isn't what's calling you. And the opportunities Chad's describing here take time to build your career so you have the credibility that gets you hired. If not in family conflict and not in the business world, where else can you be a professional peacemaker?

[00:09:31] Chad Ford: In the nonprofit space and in the public space, you're seeing a growing need for mediators who are working often with other agencies, they're working with various communities. You're seeing a ton of this in environmental cases where mediators are, are the primary source of bringing together multiple stakeholders, that, um, have an interest in a particular environmental issue in a community or, and what have you. Um, the federal government a number of years ago, passed a mediation law that requires federal agencies where they have employee disputes to go through mediation as part of that before you can, let's say sue the federal government. And so every federal agency has on staff full-time mediators that are working in those agencies. So there's amazing things there.

There's obviously the international work, um, that's going on to end, you know, larger scale conflict and wars. There are religious, uh, mediators. I have a good friend who is essentially on the payroll for the Methodist Church to go into congregations and do mediations between congregations that have issues with their pastors, you, you know, for example, and, and he has a full-time, full-time job doing all of that.

[00:10:41] Aaron - Narration: If you haven't noticed in all of these jobs, you'll find opportunities for mediators wherever there's conflict. And there is sadly an endless supply of conflict around the world. If you're feeling drawn to this, but don't know what to do next, I think it's good now to spend some time learning about Chad's career path.

What's it like to be a professional peace builder? How did Chad become one? His story started when he left his childhood home in Kansas City to attend university at BYU Hawaii, half away. .

[00:11:15] Chad Ford: Really, my dream was like, oh, I'll go there and surf and, you know, just, just have this, uh, you know, really fun experience. I'd always wanted to be in Hawaii; I had never even been. And when I got there, I was struck by two things immediately that really turned out to be life changing. One, just the intercultural nature. You know, growing up in Kansas City, Missouri, I'd not been exposed to the dozens, sometimes up to a hundred cultures that were all mingling together at BYU Hawaii.

The other thing that struck me was that generally people got along and were finding ways to work together and, and collaborate together even often when their countries and their cultures historically did not.

[00:11:58] Aaron - Narration: Chad was first interested in doing film production ,and then picked a major in English only to be told by an astute English professor that he might be a better fit in a field that matched his passion for social issues.

This led to a pivotal relationship for him.

[00:12:13] Chad Ford: I met the director of the history program and, and then a younger professor there, Bill Kauaiwi’ulaokalani Wallace, who was, was a native Hawaiian who was working on Hawaiian sovereignty issues in Hawaii. He was an attorney, but it was also teaching Hawaiian history. We hit it off. I started thinking about the work that he was doing in Hawaii around indigenous rights and civil rights and human rights, and it had this deep and profound impact on me. I started thinking about these things more academically. I was writing about them. He encouraged me to go to law school.

And you know, I came from a family that on both sides,

I was going to be the first graduate on either side of my family from an undergraduate, um, program, uh, and that was the top of Everest for me. Had zero thought about going onto graduate school or doing anything else like that.

[00:13:06] Aaron - Narration: Now, law school might seem to be the last place you'd expect to find a budding peacemaker, but lawyers, believe it or not, are meant to resolve conflict.

That's why a lot of mediators are also attorneys, except that the sad truth is that law school doesn't really prepare you for this kind of career. A student has to go their own way to find a path into peace building.

[00:13:28] Chad Ford: The first year curriculum's pretty prescribed. That had nothing to do with what I was interested in. I was doing property law, and contract law, and, and personal injury, and torts. And on top of that I was thinking in this peace mindset, collaboration, working together. And, and you know, I, I don't want to cast aspersions of lawyers, but most of the talk and the program was, was really aggressive. And it honestly felt to me sometimes, like lawyers were creating as much conflict as they were solving.

And, and I, I, I just, culturally, I think I, I just wasn't vibing, but one day I, um, saw flyer in the hall and Dennis Ross, who was the chief US negotiator for Middle East Peace at the time, was having a speech. And he had just got back from the Middle East and it was one of the, unfortunately many times that sort of Middle East peace negotiations had broken down and, and you know, there wasn't going to be an agreement.

So I went and sat in the back, and there was this moment when he was talking about what was going wrong and, and why they were continuing to fail to get an agreement. And this, it's, it's hard to point to certain points in your life that were life-changing moments, but as he was talking, he said, "Look, as a diplomat, we learn how to get leaders together and get them in conversation with each other to make big changes that are going to lead their countries to peace. We actually think we're pretty skilled at it, but what we found in the Middle East is whenever we can get there, the leaders cannot go back to their constituents and sell that. In fact, they're often called traitors. They're often called sellouts that the people on the ground aren't prepared for peace."

And he said like, "What we need are a new generation of people who learn how to work with people on the ground to prepare them for peace."

[00:15:15] Aaron - Narration: A generation to prepare people for peace. Have you ever had a moment of raw inspiration? This was that kind of moment for Chad.

[00:15:24] Chad Ford: It was in that moment sitting there that I said, I, I want to do that. I don't know how to do that, but I, I want to do that. So I waited in line. I asked him, "Hey, you know what, how did you do that? Like, that's what I want to do. Like, is that a law school? What class should I take?" Or whatever. And he, he, he was kind of funny. He said, "If I knew the answer to that, I, I would tell you, but you're going to have to sort of figure that out."

I was, I really disappointed. I'm like, you can't point me anywhere. And he said, "Well, I know this guy, his name is Wallace Warfield, he's at George Mason." They'd just started a new school for conflict analysis and resolution. It's a new master's and PhD program. He worked with Dr. Martin Luther King.

So I skipped school the next day. I took the train to George Mason. I, this is back in the pre cell phone days. I literally like wait outside his office for him to show up. And he comes in and we have this brief conversation where he asked me, you know, what do I know about Martin Luther King? And I, I'm like, oh, I'm ready for this. I, I'm a big fan of Martin Luther King and I, you know, I'm telling him whatever.

He is, like, "No, no, no. How did he do what he did from a social organizational standpoint? How did he create the change that he wanted to see? And I was like, "I, I don't really know." And he handed me his copy of, um, Martin Luther King's book, Strength of Love, and he said, "Read this book and if you're still interested, come back to see me."

And what he didn't know is I was going to go outside of the office, sit under a tree, read the book cover-to-cover that day, and knock back out on his door in the afternoon and, and say I was in. And from that point, I ended up doing a joint degree at Georgetown Master's in Conflict Resolution/Doctorate, um, in law at Georgetown.

I began to become hyper-focused on large scale religious and ethnic conflict with an emphasis on mediation and with an emphasis of really bringing people together who have what I would call intractable types of conflict. In other words, that doesn't seem that there's any way that these people could ever agree on something. How do you build the spaces to get them there?

[00:17:21] Aaron - Narration: You heard in part one of my interview with Chad about his work in the Middle East and other places where he's been helping to create more space for the resolution of conflict, like he and others have done with PeacePlayers International. He's been able to show how peace is possible in the worst conflicts on Earth.

And you might have noticed a theme in Chad's personal story and professional accomplishments. He's had to create these opportunities rather than just taking the ones being handed to him. Professional peacemakers of all kinds tend to share this entrepreneurial instinct.

[00:17:58] Chad Ford: It's hard to get on the ground because the first question anybody asks you is, well, how many cases have you mediated?

And if your answer is like, you're my first, or like, you're one or two, they don't feel that super confidence of going in. So I have to tell my students all the time, you have to be entrepreneurial at first. You have to get out there and offer yourself in lots of different scenarios. I, I even have, I'm teaching 'em how to go on Craigslist and, and say, we'll meet at the McDonald's.

My whole point is get the experience to come in, because once you have that experience. I don't have to advertise for my work anymore. I get multiple emails a week from just referrals. I, I'm a big sports fan, and I've been combining sports and mediation in ways that, that have been really fun and and exciting to me.

And it's, it's a great job. So first of all, I want to say the opportunities are real.

[00:18:46] Aaron - Narration: If professional peacemaking feels like the direction you want to go, I have a bunch of stellar advice for you from Chad. And frankly, if you just want to be better at this for the job you currently have, you need to give the rest of this episode all of your attention. You'll be better at your work if you do. Let's start with a need for personal commitment to the principles of peace.

[00:19:10] Chad Ford: Look, some people are natural mediators. I, I actually wasn't one to be, to be just completely honest. I went to school with some people that without any training, just could walk in, be very balanced, be curious, and listening just sort of naturally. And they were just really good at it. And I was so jealous of those, those students all the time because I would just. I would just be bobbing in class. And then they would, I would watch them and they would walk in and I'm like, how'd you do that? I don't, I don't know. It's just common sense. And I'm like, well, apparently I don't have it.

In fact, I failed my first midterm in my mediation class because I offended one of the role players and they walked out in the middle of my midterm exam and never came back.

[00:19:52] Aaron - Interview: No. Oh my gosh.

[00:19:55] Chad Ford: And I was ready to quit. And. I had to start looking inward. And, and this is something I love about, you know, peace building mediation, which is that if I've got stuff going on in my life that I'm unwilling to address, I am not going to be a particularly good guide to asking other people to look at the hard things and do things in their life.

And, and what, what started to come out of it was I realized who I need to practice on is my family, the conflicts where I'm estranged from people. So I'd say the first attribute is: I'm willing to do this myself, right? I, I think it's the most important thing as a mediator, because your clients are going to know, there's just an authenticity.

[00:20:36] Aaron - Narration: Being an effective peacemaker also means being curious, not making assumptions about the people in conflict or jumping to solutions prematurely. You'll end up asking lots and lots of questions.

[00:20:50] Chad Ford: The second thing is you have to be curious. Anytime I think I know what the right solution is, it's, it's usually going to be a problem for me. Um, right? Because I'll start gently steering people in the direction I think they need to go. And one of the things that I've learned is they're not me, and the only solution that works is one that's very authentic to them. So I have to continue to be curious, even when it starts to occur to me, oh, I think I should know what they should do.

[00:21:19] Aaron - Narration: Withholding judgment of those in conflict is especially hard. When you know that someone has done genuine harm to another person, with an act of cruelty or violence, somehow as a peacemaker you have to find a way to empathy for such people, to see their humanity. That doesn't mean you justify what they've done, but to bring them to peace, you might need to be the last person who hasn't given up on them.

[00:21:49] Chad Ford: As mediators, we see people often at their worst. We see people when they're the most stressed out, when they've, they've said that awful thing or they've done that awful thing. You know, I, I've, I've worked with people that have been terrorists or have, have promoted violent conflict or participated in violence as a potential solution, um, to the conflict.

And, you know, as someone who doesn't feel violence is right, or abuse is right, or, or, uh, mistreating people is of a right, it's really easy to sometimes look at them and, and not see their humanity. And one of the things that I really, really try to work on--and for me this is both a, a professional thing, but it's also a faith thing for me--is to see this sort of divinity in others define that, that spark of goodness in them.

Because if I can discover it and try to amplify it within them, it will often lead them down, down the right path in ways that I never, that I never could. I, I didn't start out good at that. I often would be annoyed at people. And that aspect took a lot of, like, mindfulness, a lot of, a lot of thinking, a lot of training, and frankly, leaning on my faith in a lot of ways, because I, I do believe at, at the core that, you know, as people, we have that spark of the divineness that every human being is important.

They have value regardless of their choices, regardless of the decisions that they've made, and that there is a path to redemption back for people.

[00:23:21] Aaron - Narration: You also have to resist the instinct to enable people even when they're in the right. Sometimes when we're angry, our loved ones keep the anger going by being angry with us. Now, we see that as a sign of their loyalty and love for us, but it's also a source of fuel for some of our worst emotions. And so when we're trying to help someone feel validated, we can get pulled into the conflict along with them and we keep it going. There's a name for the seemingly supportive behavior:

Collusion.

[00:23:54] Chad Ford: I think it's interesting, Aaron, that you said pulled in. Because this is another aspect of conflict that I think is actually a really important one. If I can just address it for a minute, because...

[00:24:03] Aaron - Interview: Yeah, please do.

[00:24:03] Chad Ford: Often we, we get pulled in. In other words, the conflict isn't directly between me and another person, but a loved one, a child, a family member, a good friend has been wronged in some ways, and so they come to us for help.

Often we think that the way to help them is to give them a lot of validation, right? Like, "You're right, they're wrong. That other person is ridiculous. You don't need that toxicity in your life anymore." And we become allies to people in conflict where we give them the justification to actually be bad partners in conflict.

And we do it out of the name of support or out of love or care. And it's really hard to validate the emotion, which I think is fair and okay to do, right, without encouraging them to escalate the conflict without encouraging them to hate the other person. It's a very tricky line, and my wife on more than one occasion has said, "Can you just quit doing your conflict stuff with me right now and just agree with me that this person is the worst person ever?" and we'll laugh, you know, at those moments.

But that never really seems like love to me, because doing that doesn't actually give her the thing that she's actually looking for or really need. It's giving justification, which again, I think is a drug that is not going to serve, serve them well. And so, you know, it's really interesting because those conflicts are easier for us to be blind that we're actually the ones that are pouring gasoline on the fire now.

[00:25:38] Aaron - Narration: You may remember that I promised at the start of the episode that there are encouraging things to say about professional peacemaking and being a mediator. So here are two of the most important ones.

First, this is a deeply satisfying career path. It's always interesting. It gives you new things to learn. It brings you to know others in ways that you would never have known them before. And playing a part in reconnecting people is among the greatest moments of success.

[00:26:09] Chad Ford: It's so fulfilling. It takes so much creativity, which I love. I learn about all sorts of issues and have to become like a semi-expert on things because, you know, we're in a dispute and it's about air quality and all of a sudden I'm, you know, learning about all of these measures and like, what matters, because I need to understand why people feel as strongly as they feel about it. Culturally, I've got to learn all sorts of cool cultures. We are constantly having to adapt the process to create the space for people.

And I, I, I just love that. I get so energized um, as part of that. I'm exhausted afterwards, but there's no feeling like mediating a dispute and the parties walking away feeling reconnected to each other and walking away from that. And knowing that I, I had a little role to play that, uh, it, it will carry me through the next three or four failures, uh, until, you know, until the next, the next one hits.

[00:27:09] Aaron - Narration: The second encouraging thought is that there is a rising generation of peacemakers that's perhaps better prepared and more invested in this work than any generation before it. Chad teaches these young people every day, and they are an invigorating source of hope for him.

[00:27:28] Chad Ford: Aaron, there are so many young people that are leaning in to this world to serve.

I am so impressed with this generation who are coming to college not just to make money or get rich, but really, truly want to solve the social problems that that exist in our world today. They're frustrated at the adults, that we've left them the world that we've left them, um, right now. But they still remain hopeful that they're going to do something.

When I look to those young people that I get to work with every day, there's so much to be hopeful for. And my heroes, of course, some of them are, you know, the Gandhis and Martin Luther Kings and, and you know, frankly, Jesus Christ, who I think is the best of all of the peace builders that I know. But where I really get energy is watching these young people go out and dedicate their lives to doing this type of work.

[00:28:21] Aaron - Narration: You may like me imagine Bertha von Suttner smiling down on this rising generation, seeing in them what she spent years trying to cultivate and so many others, including her friend Alfred Nobel. When she herself received the Nobel Peace Prize in 1905, Bon Suttner began her speech this way, "The stars of eternal truth and right have always shown in the firmament of human understanding. The process of bringing them down to earth, remolding them into practical forms, imbuing them with vitality, and then making use of them, has been a long one. One of the eternal truths is that happiness is created and developed in peace."

You may feel the stirrings in you to follow the same professional path as Von Sutter and this rising generation of peacemakers.

But if not, I hope at least that you've taken away a thing or two. I hope you've learned something that can help you establish more peace for those around you.

How to help as a production of BYU Radio and hosted and written by me, Aaron Miller. This episode is produced by Erica Price, Blake Morris, and Kenny Mears.

Our theme song is by Eric Robertson. For more information about this episode, use the links in the show notes, and if you haven't subscribed to How to Help, you can do that in your favorite podcast player. As always, thank you so much for listening.