Summary

In the wake of unimaginable tragedy, how does a community find its way forwardand what can we learn from their resilience? In this episode, I talk with Rabbi Jeffrey Myers, who survived the deadliest anti-Semitic attack in American history at Pittsburgh’s Tree of Life Synagogue. Rabbi Myers shares how his congregation and the broader Pittsburgh community responded to hatred with overwhelming acts of kindness and solidarity, and how he’s become a national voice for interfaith understanding and eradicating the “H-word” from our daily lives.

About Our Guest

Rabbi Hazzan Jeffrey Myers has served as the Rabbi and Cantor for the Tree of Life in Pittsburgh since the summer of 2017. He moved to the City of Bridges after spending decades in ministry in New Jersey and Long Island. He received a BA from Rutgers, an MA in Jewish Education from the Jewish Theological Seminary and studied privately with Cantor Zvi Aroni before graduating from the Cantorial School of The Jewish Theological Seminary of America. 

After the horrific morning of October 27, 2018, when a heavily armed gunman began a murderous rampage in the Tree of Life, Rabbi Myers—who survived the attack—became the face of the tragedy. Since then, he has set about sending the key message that love is stronger than hate. Rabbi Myers contends that a lack of understanding of our neighbors leads to fear and sometimes loathing, which can lead to acts of violence. Rabbi Myers believes that if we are ever to remove the "H word" from our society, it must start with pledging not to use that word in speech, just as he has done in honor of the 11 lives lost at the Tree of Life. 

Rabbi Myers is a recipient of multiple awards, including 2019 recipient of the Simon Wiesenthal Center Medal of Valor, given out to those who exemplify the good deeds of outstanding individuals who honor mankind and whose courage and bravery shine a light in the darkest of places. Because of his service and actions during and after the Tree of Life massacre, Rabbi Myers received the medal which is inscribed: “He who saves a single life, it is as if he has saved an entire world.” He has testified before both Houses of Congress, participated in many gatherings in the White House, and has spoken throughout the United States on the proliferation of H-speech.

Useful Links

Tree of Life Synagogue – Rabbi Myers’ Community: https://www.treeoflifepgh.org

Rabbi Myers on Responding to Hate (CNN Feature): https://www.cnn.com/2020/07/18/us/rabbi-myers-pittsburgh-hate/index.html

Pittsburgh Synagogue Shooting – Background (Wikipedia): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pittsburgh_synagogue_shooting

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Transcript

[00:00:00] Rabbi Myers: I think we've seen throughout history plenty of examples of a single individual who made a difference to any of your listeners. One of them can also be that singular individual to make a difference. There's nothing stopping them from being that person to quote, um, a well-known sneaker manufacturer.

Just do it.

[00:00:18] Aaron - Interview: That's great. The best use of that slogan ever actually.

[00:00:24] Aaron - Narration: Hi, I'm Aaron Miller, and this is How to Help, a podcast about having a life and career with meaning, integrity, and impact. This is season three, episode one: Transcending Tragedy with Love.

How to Help is proud to join the BYU Radio family of podcasts. This means you might be new to our show, and so if you are, please take a look at our past episodes and subscribe for future ones. You can find them all at byuradio.org or at how-to-help.com. You can also follow us on Instagram, Threads, and Bluesky. Look for links to those in the show notes. And thank you for listening. I hope you thoroughly enjoy our new season.

On October 27th, 2018, during Shabbat morning services, a gunman entered the Tree of Life Synagogue in Pittsburgh and he opened fire, killing 11 worshipers and injuring seven others. Among the wounded were four police officers who had risked their lives capturing the shooter. After his arrest, he was tried in federal court and sentenced to death row. His horrific attack on these worshipers is the deadliest anti-Semitic attack in American history.

Rabbi Jeffrey Meyers, who was leading services that morning, helped evacuate some congregants but couldn't reach everyone. Since that tragic day, he has become a leader in the fight against religious intolerance and hate.

What happens in the aftermath of such senseless violence. How does a community heal? How does faith persist? Rabbi Meyers shows us a way through the darkness. Today, we'll learn from a community's response to hatred and what they can teach us about resilience, about love, about faith, and about the enduring power of hope.

[00:02:19] Rabbi Myers: I'd like to think I'm a hopeful person. I'm a pragmatist, but I'm also an optimist at the same time. And I still believe, like Anne Frank did, that people are basically good.

[00:02:31] Aaron - Narration: This was such an inspiring conversation to me, and I know it will be for you too. But as we begin, you're going to hear me use a word for the last time in this episode. The word is hate. From here on, I'll be calling it the H-word. This isn't my idea, it's Rabbi Myers'. He's been encouraging people for years to scrub the H-word from their daily conversations.

[00:02:56] Aaron - Interview: I'm curious what reactions you've gotten from others as you have encouraged eliminating that word from our vocabulary.

[00:03:05] Rabbi Myers: Actually, I've been really pleased with the positive response from people to take a moment and digest the idea. It makes them think more about just the impact of words. In particular, how hard it is to excise a word from our vocabulary that we just use so easily and readily without giving thought to how emotion laden the  H-word is.

People will smile, they'll, they'll try it, and frequently people who haven't taken the  H-word pledge will cover their mouth instantly and apologize to me for having used it, and they'll at least call the  H-word for that time being. Give it a try and we'll discover it's really difficult. We just toss it about so easily.

[00:03:57] Aaron - Interview: I, I'm sure there will be listeners who wonder if this is authentic, who wonder if, if they had the opportunity to sort of spy on Rabbi Meyers throughout the day, if they were ever actually hear the word.

Maybe you could talk about the day-to-day reality of, of trying to not ever use the word.

[00:04:13] Rabbi Myers: I would say this: when I'm meeting a group for the first time, who aren't aware of the pledge or need to know more, I'll use the word once to model so they know which word I'm talking about.

[00:04:25] Aaron - Interview: Mm-hmm.

[00:04:25] Rabbi Myers: And then teach what the choice is. On that rare occasion if I'm doing, say, an English reading and there might be the adjective or other form of it, so it's not just the immediate four letters, I might use that, or I might just say H-full as opposed to the combined word. But as peculiar as I think people might find it, they'll hear me just say, "I don't like it." "I'm unhappy about it." and comparable things like that.

I'll give you a perfect example. I remember I was in the parking lot of a supermarket. I was leaving the supermarket walking towards my car. A woman was pushing one of the shopping carts. You know, sometimes when you get a shopping cart with that one annoying wheel that doesn't cooperate.

And she goes, "Oh, I just..." and I said, yeah, we just use it so matter of factly, as opposed to, you know, if it happened to me, I would've said, "Oh, this is so annoying." I would've put the cart back and got another cart. She just continued onto the supermarket with a cart with a defective wheel, which I didn't understand why, but it just typified for me how easy it is to just toss it around.

[00:05:42] Aaron - Interview: I think we do this with that word in a lot of ways in the emotions tied to it. I think we sit with those feelings even though we're not obligated to, nobody's forcing it upon us. I think we choose it in many ways.

[00:05:54] Rabbi Myers: And, and I just felt that the real power of suggesting to people that it's a four letter word that belongs in that small collection of other four letter obscenities, gives it, um, a sort of different perspective.

and perception and, and that was my hope and desire from it. Will it change the world? No. I'm, I'm not naive. But if it makes some people think and in the end, if there's one person who might use a, a calmer word and potentially not lead them to a violent act, to me, wonderful. That's what it's about.

[00:06:36] Aaron - Narration: I love the idea of treating the H word as profane.

What it represents certainly drives some of the most profane and horrible deeds that happen in the world. The  H-word can treat such vile things so casually. This is part of the reason in this episode that there won't be a detailed explanation of the tragedy itself, nor will we mention the killer's name. Rehearsing those things does little for us.

But what's extraordinary and worth every minute of this episode is the story of how the Tree of Life community transcended the cruelty of what happened. They didn't do it on their own. Indeed, they were immediately enveloped in love and support.

[00:07:18] Rabbi Myers: Although I'm now at Pittsburgher, I did not originally hail from Pittsburgh, but I came to learn first in my initial year

here is that. people pulling for each other and working as community is the nature of Pittsburgh. It's not the exception. However, when you have such a horrific event, is that even, more so, people from all backgrounds reached out. All faiths, all sexual orientations, all colors, et cetera, everybody reached out in ways small, medium, and large, and extra large.

"How can we help? What do you need? What can we do?" There were hundreds of stories of these incredible acts of, of kindness that really moved me and taught me. That's part of what makes Pittsburgh special, is that innate nature. And Pittsburgh is a, a rather significant immigrant community of people who come from literally all over the world to settle in Pittsburgh over the centuries. So it's not the stream of just one particular country. Just all together, that's what pi, what Pittsburghers are all about. And to me that's just something incredible. Beautiful. You wish you could package it and share it. I don't know if, if that's possible. I think it's just, it's just the nature of what Pittsburghers are like and I've, I've lived in different places in my life and I've never experienced, uh, that kind of grace, that kind of

loving kindness for all fellow human beings. It's remarkably beautiful and I'm grateful that I've been the recipient. And the best I can do is return that kindness every occasion I have.

[00:08:58] Aaron - Narration: Not long after their own tragedy, the Tree of Life congregants had just such an occasion to return kindness. In Christchurch, New Zealand, just five months after the Tree of Life shooting, an attacker went to two different Islamic mosques where he opened fire killing 51 people and injuring 40. Rabbi Myers and his congregation sprung into action raising over $50,000 in just four days, all of the funds going to help the families who lost loved ones. Tree of Life knew firsthand why this mattered.

[00:09:34] Rabbi Myers: There's a, a, a foundational story to then act. In the immediate aftermath of the shooting at the Tree of Life, 36 hours later that Sunday evening, it was a vigil at one of the major municipal buildings in Pittsburgh, the Soldiers and Sailors War Memorial, it's called. I believe it seats roughly 2000 people. There were thousands outside.

I met for the first time, the executive director of the Islamic Center in Pittsburgh, which is located in the middle of the University of Pittsburgh campus. And he announced from the stage at that time that they'd found put together a GoFundMe pitch to fund the funerals.

[00:10:14] Aaron - Narration: It's a practice of both the Jewish and Muslim faith to bury their dead quickly, usually within 24 hours. Wasi Muhammad, the executive director for the Islamic Center, knew this and worked to make sure that the funds were distributed without delay.

[00:10:31] Rabbi Myers: Now, one family had to pay for the funeral, and I thought, first off, what an incredibly beautiful gesture. Number two, what a powerful statement to the rest of the world who just think nonstop that Jews and Muslims can't get along. So when the horrific shooting in the two mosques in Christchurch, New Zealand occurred, that was the proper, immediate response was "Of course we have to do that."

[00:10:56] Aaron - Narration: Not only did Tree of Life raise money for the victims on the other side of the globe, they also came to comfort and care for the Muslims in their own community.

That Friday at Juma prayers at the Islamic Center, Rabbi Meyers arrived with a group of his own congregation to show support for the Islamic community in Pittsburgh.

[00:11:17] Rabbi Myers: We made sure there was food and no one had to worry about eating, and we were just there to support them and, and how grateful they were.

And it just showed that's what communities of faith are about. We're here for each other and that, well, my faith might not be yours, that doesn't mean that we have, don't have so much in common. And to me, that's what building bridges is about. And Pittsburgh knows how to build bridges. We have the most bridges in the United States 446. But to me it's not about steel bridges or iron bridges, it's about human bridges from community to community to connect each other. And that's just, just one story of many of building bridges between communities.

[00:12:00] Aaron - Narration: Rabbi Myers is a diligent bridge-builder. In the last six years, he's been a national leader in establishing interfaith understanding. And this has taken him around the country and even to Washington where he testified before both houses of Congress.

Along the way, he's built lasting friendships with leaders of many different faiths like Reverend Eric Manning, who experienced a shooting at his church in 2015. In connecting with the leaders of different faiths, rabbi Meyers hopes to model the care and concern we should all show for each other.

[00:12:35] Rabbi Myers: It's the hard work of one-on-one relationships, and that's investing an immense amount of time. But I think it's worth it. And the time that I've invested has been primarily religious leaders because they're the ones that open the doors to all of their parishioners. So to be able to say that I'm on first name basis and have the cell phone number of, of the Roman Catholic Bishop of the Diocese of Pittsburgh, as one example of many, that's part of, of building those relationships.

Because when you do, then there's so much that you can talk about that goes beyond mere clergy to clergy, but can go into greater depth in terms of conversation, things that matter, avenues to open up and explore, ways to be creative that would've never even thought about, ways to build bridges because the clergy model, eventually it saturates down into the parishioners because we, we are the role models of...whatever behaviors we model, our congregants then say that that's acceptable. If we are role models in a negative manner, we're then saying to people it's okay to behave and speak, that way. If we will model the right things to say and the right ways to behave, that's what people will then see and hopefully duplicate.

[00:13:57] Aaron - Narration: When you look at his leadership, it's fascinating to know that Rabbi Myers becoming the leader of the Tree of Life Synagogue almost didn't happen. He shared with me how he ended up as a rabbi, and then how he came to Tree of Life.

[00:14:11] Rabbi Myers: Judaism is the only faith, to the best of my knowledge, that has two clergy, rabbi and cantor.

Rabbi from the Hebrew, meaning my teacher, and the essential role of the rabbi within the community, although it's evolved over the millennia, is to be the chief interpreter and teacher of the Hebrew Bible. The cantor from the Latin "canto" to sing is the one who chants the prayers, interprets them, and chants them for the congregation.

Both are ordained clergy. There's a lot of similarity and overlap in terms of responsibilities like pastoral care for congregants, just as one example. Teaching, both rabbis and cantors do teach in the in their congregations.

[00:15:03] Aaron - Narration: Because not all synagogues can afford both a rabbi and a cantor, Rabbi Myers' wife suggested that he seek to be ordained so that he could fill both roles.

It wasn't even something he used at first, but when the time was right, it led him to the Tree of Life in Pittsburgh.

[00:15:21] Rabbi Myers: It is only, I think, upon looking back over the years that I see that was the path. At the time, when I made the decision that I was gonna go to cantorial school, I didn't realize that was the path that was laid out for me.

It's only upon reflection and saying, oh, look at all of those touchstones along the way. Now I get it. But at the time when you're seemingly a passenger and not the driver of your car, I didn't see all of those touchstones. And it was just out of luck, that led to a phone call with someone here at Tree of Life, which led into an interview, which eventually then brought me to Pittsburgh.

I came into town July 31st, 2017, and then 14 months later was the shooting.

[00:16:08] Aaron - Narration: In any role like that of a rabbi, a pastor, a minister, or a bishop one quickly comes to know and love the people of the congregation, and those of us who attend weekly services come to know and love each other. In preparation for this episode, I spent time learning about the victims at the Tree of Life Synagogue.

And I was struck by how much they reminded me of the people who attend my congregation. Even now as I think about it, I feel a small measure of the sorrow that we would all feel if we lost some of our own in such a tragic way.

[00:16:39] Aaron - Interview: I'm wondering if you could just share some thoughts or feelings you have about, about those people that were lost and how their memory is enduring.

[00:16:45] Rabbi Myers: I try to focus on what each of those people brought to our Sabbath worship in a joyous sort of way. The fun nature of who they were. The happier moments, and I prefer to focus on that as opposed to taking not just one day, but one unit of time and saying that that's what defines them, because it's not.

It's how they live their lives that defines them. And I try to focus on that in those moments of joy. Most cases, it's an unplanned, spontaneous moment that, oh. So-and-so would've said this, or So-and-so would've done, or I could just see So-and-so standing there doing such a thing. And to celebrate their life, I also feel that when you speak about someone who has passed on and you reference them, they then live through your words and it's their presence that inhabits the space that you're in.

[00:17:41] Aaron - Interview: Are there things you wish people had the chance to know about them?

[00:17:44] Rabbi Myers: You know, I can speak about people, but the challenge is words can't always paint the picture. It's being present with people to not merely know about something that someone might have said or done, but to fully embrace what was the occasion? What was the event?

How did it all play out in real time? Because that gives the picture. So for people who didn't really know any of the 11 victims, yes, you can read about them, you can read obituaries, stories, reminiscences and so forth. But to get the fullest flavor, it's really hard to do that because even a picture of them doesn't tell you enough.

It's having had the privilege to being in their lives, seeing them in action and witnessed the things that they do, that's a treasure. And I'm just grateful that I had those opportunities.

[00:18:43] Aaron - Narration: It takes time to come to a place where you can remember people who are gone in a way that brings joy. Rabbi Meyers noted that in our conversation. To be a faith leader who is also in mourning presents a unique kind of difficulty. You're asked to comfort others when you're one who needs comforting. This story of his shows how hard it can be.

[00:19:06] Rabbi Myers: In the aftermath of the shooting, my wife at the time was working at Jewish Day School and the students had put together a special service within a few days of it, plus an outdoor memorial service.

The eighth graders knew many of the victims because we had a a weekly prayer service that they would join us for the service on a weekday morning. We'd give them breakfast, and then they would be taken to classes. So many of the eighth graders, as seventh graders, knew the deceased. So it was really beautiful they did that.

So I came there for services and I really didn't wanna go, but my wife said, "You need to go. It's the students have done this to support them."

So when, and I had not prayed to that point, uh, I just couldn't get it out. So I stood there and as we reached a particular part of the service where we chanted together, it couldn't come out, nothing came out.

It's like, open your mouth and nothing. Terribly distressing to me.

I just quickly ushered myself out of the room because I was really distressed by that moment. And recognizing my own trauma, "Where am I gonna go right at this moment? What do I turn to?" And it's the answer of course is God, but how in what way?

And the immediate answer I got was Psalms. Psalms reflect the complex life of King David, warrior, statesman, poet, all rolled into one, which is an an incredible combination. If there's anybody who's experienced the entire panoply of emotion in their life, it's King David. There's gotta be something in there somewhere that's gonna help give me some direction.

So I just started with Psalm 1 and just was going through them. Had not found anything yet till I got to the 121st of which their 150. The 121st song. "I lift my eyes to the hills. From whence does my help come? My help comes from God, Maker of the heavens and earth." And there was my answer and my practice then became, uh, everyday, start the day with that. It helped reassure me that yes, God was with me, God is with me, and God will continue to be with me.

[00:21:18] Aaron - Narration: This Psalm became the inspiration later for the Tree of Life Synagogue to commission what Rabbi Meyers titled "A Psalm for Pittsburgh." Verses one, two, and eight from Psalm 121 were set to an original musical piece by composer Gerald Cohen. At a performance five years after the shooting, Rabbi Myers sang it with the Pittsburgh Youth Chorus and a special ensemble arranged by the group Violins of Hope.

[00:21:46] Rabbi Myers: For your listeners unfamiliar, a number of musical instruments were found in the aftermath of the Holocaust, owned by Jews. The owners, for the most part, had perished. These instruments over time were rescued, refurbished by this wonderful father and son team and brought back to life to be able to be the witness to tell the story of the owner through music.

And what I initially had envisioned was, uh, a children's course. And the reason for children was because of the hope for the brighter future. And the string instruments that were played that evening for that piece were from the Violins of Hope collection. So, uh, uh, a violin, viola, and a cello that had been rescued and refurbished were played.

So it was powerful in many different levels. So I had my entire congregation for those who could participate, commission it as singular individuals, but yet as a congregation. It surpassed my wildest hopes for what type of piece it could be. It was incredibly moving to me, I know to students. And I recall at the, the last rehersal when I finally got to hear the whole piece, 'because it was the only rehearsal we had with the, uh, instrumentalists.

As it finished, I just wept. It was just the power of music.

[00:23:04] Aaron - Narration: There are so many ways that people heal from tragedy, but I think they almost all involve other people. I ask Rabbi Myers to share his thoughts about how we can help others to heal from such events.

[00:23:18] Rabbi Myers: The fact that people care and want to help is really meaningful.

Sometimes the best thing to do is just ask, "How can I help? What do you need?" But don't be surprised if sometimes people in the midst of tragedy, or even trauma, may not yet know the answers of what they need. That only through time can they adequately begin to formulate an answer to that. And it's not anyone's fault or such. It's the nature of, uh, trauma that we don't know what we don't know. And sometimes it takes time. There's many, so many who step forward and sometimes we say we just don't know. And, as frustrating as that might be to people of goodwill who really, really want to help, sometimes we just don't know.

And even to this day, if people come and ask us, you need help, what can we do? Sometimes we, we still don't know. It's not a function of that you can't make sense, because you can't make sense of the senseless. But to identify what people need, you can't take all of my congregates and put them in one slot and say they all fit there. No two people are the same. Because we're not the same, we all have different needs. We're all at different places in that continuum that I call healing.

And the continuum is not that we're always going upward. I'd like to think that from 30,000 feet, the view is that we're, is that a collective moving upward and continuing to heal. But I think if you would come down and literally put it under a microscope, it might look like in a oscilloscope, with peaks and valleys and peaks and valleys. There will be good moments and bad moments within the same day, a good moment, a bad moment. A good moment. A bad moment. But if you again take it way back, I'd like to think that we are gradually moving up. I submit that. I don't think a community that faces mass violence,

mass murder in our case, can maybe necessarily fully heal. We'll reach as far as we can reach, but I think that process has just continued for the life of the community.

[00:25:34] Aaron - Interview: What still gives you hope today for eliminating the H-word? And I don't just mean the use of it I mean it's, you know, everything it represents.

[00:25:42] Rabbi Myers: I like to think I'm a hopeful person. I'm a pragmatist, but I'm also an optimist at the same time. And I still believe, like Anne Frank did that, people are basically good. I've seen that over the years that I still at cards and letters and emails and so forth from strangers I've never met, sending supportive word, a prayer and so forth, which tells me that the vast majority of the people on this planet are good, decent people.

The media doesn't help us. No, social media doesn't help us because bad news sells. The uglier it is the more we like to gawk at it, but I don't believe that's what our society is about. I believe our society is about good people working in the trenches, trying to just make life better for their fellow citizens.

And I believe they're far more of those people out there. They just don't get the publicity that they deserve. It's the ones not doing good who achieve notoriety, who get our attention all the time. I don't know if you can necessarily change that, but, uh, I do believe that there is enough of a silent majority that needs to find a way somehow to become a vocal majority, to be able to respond in cases where there's a bad actor and say, no, this is not okay.

This is unacceptable. Whether it's based upon one's faith, based upon the laws of the land, whatever that support would be say, no, it doesn't belong here. So I still believe there are plenty of people who can effect that change. And I think we've seen throughout history, plenty of examples of a single individual who made a difference.

I have hope. It's really easy to just see the dark, and if you've ever gone to a dark room, a singular match erases all the dark. That's all it is. Be the match!

[00:27:43] Aaron - Narration: Light to penetrate darkness is a central feature in the new building under construction where the previous synagogue stood. 80% of the old structure is being rebuilt to include not only a place of worship for Tree of Life, but also a memorial for the 11 victims, and a new museum dedicated to understanding the roots of anti-Semitism.

Spanning the distance of the building will be an atrium whose light is designed to symbolize hope. When we can be that match described by Rabbi Myers, no matter how dimly we think we flicker, we have the power to banish darkness in the lives of others. Evil deeds do not define those who suffer at the hands of evil doers, not when they can define themselves through hope, faith, and love.

And we, in turn, have the opportunity to shed some of our light on them just as they do for us. I hope you were as inspired as I have been by Rabbi Myers and the Tree of Life congregation. I'm incredibly grateful to Rabbi Myers for spending the time with us.

How To Help is hosted and written by me, Aaron Miller, and producing collaboration with BYU Radio.

My thanks to Erika Price, Kenny Mears, and Blake Morris for their help with this episode. Scoring and mixing was done by Seth Miller, and our music is by Eric Robertson and the Pleasant Pictures Music Club. For more information about this episode, use the links in the show notes, and if you haven't subscribed yet to How to Help, you can do that in your favorite podcast player.

As always, thank you so much for listening.