Past Issues of Good at Work

The Power of the Second Mile
Newsletter Past Issues of Good at Work

The Power of the Second Mile

Walking with generosity

During Covid, our family has gotten into a habit of going for walks each evening. We don’t go far, usually just a mile. Sometimes we have to drag our boys out of the house for it. Most of the time they cheerfully join us, but when they don’t we make them come anyway.

Our walks have been good for them, and for our whole family. We talk more, about all kinds of topics. We appreciate good weather and pretty sunsets. We connect when we walk our mile together.

It hasn’t happened yet, but it’s fun to imagine getting to the spot where we turn around (the white mailbox) only to have one of them suggest we keep going. I wonder if they’ve even considered it. My wife and I would be delighted.

“Going the extra mile” has come to mean exceeding expectations, but the phrase is rooted in the New Testament where Jesus counsels his listeners to respond differently to their enemies:

And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain. (Matthew 5:41, KJV)

Back then, a Roman soldier could compel someone to act as a porter or courier. Though legal, it was widely seen as an unjust demand. Jesus recommended going an extra mile in spite of the injustice of the first one. His second-mile advice is coupled with the also famous counsel to turn the other cheek.

We want, as Jesus noted, to take an eye for an eye. But there’s unique power in being more generous to our enemies than they deserve. Not every injustice needs retribution. And if this seems naive, consider how generosity dominates our closest relationships. Imagine, for example, eye-for-an-eye parenting! If parents responded in kind to their kids, the world would be ruined. Some injustices just need a generous reply.

But I think there’s even more magic to the second mile. It keeps us with our enemies. It gives us time with them. I imagine the put-upon local chatting away at the Roman Centurion, connecting as a real person rather than an object of convenience. It’s a form of resistance, really, but against the inhumanity instead of the enemy.

So how far do we go? Jesus didn’t tell his followers to walk forever. He rebuked plenty of people who deserved it. We need not completely give in to rough treatment. But at least give one extra mile, or one other cheek. Try generosity first.

Seeing Good at Work

Violence against women is still far too common throughout the world, including India. Much of it is driven by social norms that give women low status. Breakthrough changes these norms by targeting schools, work, and social media to help men and boys see violence against women and girls as a problem for everyone.

Their training and media campaigns have reached millions of people. Men and boys who have had Breakthrough training are twice as likely to intervene when they encounter women being sexually harassed or threatened with violence.

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Making Ourselves Kinder
Newsletter Past Issues of Good at Work

Making Ourselves Kinder

We are who we think we are

I’ve had an experience recently where a decision I thought was too daunting suddenly became exciting. The only thing that changed was my thinking about it. I’m now practically giddy about a thing that used to scare me.

In his remarkable book Altruism, Buddhist monk and neuroscientist Mattieu Ricard digs deep into the idea of how we can develop more compassion for others. He points to multiple studies that show how training our minds to care for others—through meditation, prayer, or other forms of regular reflection—turns into significant improvements in our ability to feel and show compassion.

Research shows that some form of compassionate meditation has made people: better able to detect facial expressions, less likely to discriminate against people of color or the homeless, more likely to offer their seat to a stranger, less likely to experience feelings of anger, and more likely to feel joy, kindness, gratitude, hope, and enthusiasm.

Rooted in all of this is the idea that we can change ourselves by changing our thinking. I love how he explains it:

One of the tragedies of our time seems to be considerably underestimating the ability for transformation of the human mind, given that our character traits are perceived as relatively stable. It is not so common for angry people to become patient, tormented people to find inner peace, or pretentious people to become humble. It is undeniable, however, that some individuals do change, and the change that takes place in them shows that it is not at all an impossible thing. Our character traits last as long as we do nothing to improve them and we leave our attitudes and automatisms alone, or else let them be reinforced with time. But it is a mistake to believe they are fixed in place permanently.

We constantly try to improve the external conditions of our lives, and in the end it’s our mind that experiences the world and that translates this perception as happiness or suffering. If we transform our way of apprehending things, we automatically transform the quality of our life. And this change is possible.

We can become more of who we want to be if we’ll just practice the thinking that makes us that way. What better thoughts can you practice this week?

If you’d like to try compassionate meditation, here’s a lovely video where Matthieu Ricard leads a brief session. I promise that it will instantly improve your day.

Seeing Good at Work

For helping kids develop empathy, Ashoka offers their Start Empathy campaign. The program provides resources for teachers, parents, and youth to foster more compassion in schools and communities.

The research-driven practices of Start Empathy can help kids better handle conflict, understand people who are different than them, and find creative solutions to the problems they encounter. You can find more about the resources they offer and their Changemaker Schools program at StartEmpathy.org.

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Would you consider sharing Good at Work with a friend this week? There is a world full of people who want to do good every day, and my goal is to help more of them do it. I’d be grateful if you spread the word. 🙂

How to Vote with Integrity
Newsletter Past Issues of Good at Work

How to Vote with Integrity

Voting in America is an ethical dilemma

Try as we might, we can’t live a life free of ethical dilemmas. We all have a range of values that matter to us. Dilemmas happen when those values come into conflict with each other.

For many Americans, the next big dilemma they face will be when they vote. Because of our two-party system, we have few candidates to choose from for each office. And if you are like the vast majority of Americans, you don’t fully agree with any candidate. Personally, I’ve never once voted for a candidate who represented all of my values.

The challenge is this: if integrity means holding consistently to our values, how can we maintain our integrity and vote for someone who fails to align with all that matters to us?

You’ll face this dilemma no matter how you vote. Here are some things to do so you vote with more integrity.

1. Don’t vote single-issue.

Balancing competing values is hard, and that’s why we look for just one value to come out on top. It’s good to keep things simple, right? Well, when we vote single-issue, the moral math remains complicated even if we try to paint over it. Whether we turn our sole focus to the economy, abortion, gun rights, or the environment, we’re not making a more ethical choice, we’re making a false one.

The reality of choosing in a dilemma is that some things we value will be placed lower than others. But that doesn’t mean we should pretend that those lower values cease to exist. Nor should we find excuses to minimize them. We know how complex life can be, and we manage it accordingly. We can vote for complex reasons, too.

Our single-issue vote turns into our moral failing when it becomes a hall pass for any shameful things our candidate might do. To say, “Well at least they…” is to give them your permission for something you know is wrong. It hurts your integrity.

We don’t live single-issue lives. We shouldn’t vote that way, either.

2. Do more than vote, especially if your candidate wins.

We have just one vote, and it won’t be cast for a flawless public servant. But to acknowledge where our candidate fails feels like admitting our choice was a failure, too. So to feel better about ourselves, we turn our vote into a loyalty pledge.

A candidate doesn’t earn your silence just because they earned your vote. If your candidate wins, hold them accountable for what they do wrong. It’s not hypocritical. In reality, it’s the only way to maintain your integrity.

Also, voting isn’t the only thing we can or should do as citizens. We have a wide range of citizen powers at our disposal, from phone calls to protests to ballot initiatives. We are duty bound to use them for good no matter who is in office. Turning a blind eye to our politicians’ failures just means we are half-blind to our own values.

3. Hold all the candidates to the same standards.

This last one is very hard for most people, me included. When our opponents do wrong, we’re there to pounce. When our team does wrong, we’re silent. The difference isn’t the behavior, it’s the tribe.

Our hypocrisy here reveals the painful reality: we don’t value integrity, virtue, or honesty as much as we think we do. Instead, we value a punch that lands. If our side is the only thing that matters to us, good principles are merely weapons instead of standards. It’s hard to see ourselves as partisans first.

I’ve hesitated to publish this article precisely because of that reason. My worry is that people will share what I’ve written as a way to shame others, accusing the other side—even friends and family!—for lacking integrity. Sadly, politics is a vast minefield of ethical dilemmas. We ought to be guides and medics for each other as we navigate through together.

Seeing Good at Work

We’ve become accustomed to digital technology as a source of conflict. Build Up is turning it into a solution. Working around the globe, Build Up uses deep research and innovative social media to foster peace in places like Lebanon, Syria, Myanmar, and Ukraine.

Build Up also offers free online courses to peacebuilders who need help magnifying their efforts with digital tools. Its ultimate goal is to reduce the polarization that is threatening our societies. To learn more, I encourage you to start with their latest annual report (PDF).

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I’ve mentioned this before, but I will be giving a free webinar next week on how Ethics Is a Skill. If you’re interested in learning how to better manage the ethical dilemmas in your professional life, click here to sign up.

Patient Urgency
Newsletter Past Issues of Good at Work

Patient Urgency

Thinking about change

For this edition, here’s a little theory about how things change.

Individual Change Is Gradual

For individuals, changes come by gradual improvements in skill, habit, and character. Dramatic shifts are rare, and when they do happen they are usually unsustainable for us. Considering how much of our thinking and decision-making is automatic—the great majority—it makes sense that individual change is gradual. We can all become better people, but usually it happens by degrees over time.

Social Change Is Sudden

At the level of society, change rarely happens gradually. In many cases, it doesn’t happen at all for many years. But when it does come, change comes suddenly. That’s because social change happens when institutions change, through laws (Brown v. Board of Education), policies (LGBTQ service in the military), programs (Social Security), leadership (US Presidents), or technology (TikTok). And social change tends to be sudden even though the ingredients of social change can take years to develop.

Patient Urgency

Individual change and social change have at least some things in common. Neither comes quickly. They both require patience and urgency.

This means:

  1. To help people (and ourselves) change, we are willing to do it by degrees. We keep at it and enjoy small daily victories.
  2. To help society change, we persist as credible advocates with a plan, persuading minds one at a time and being ready to show the way when the moment comes.

And it means not quitting, even when it feels like change is slow or nonexistent. We can trust that change for the better is always possible.

What change are you looking for and what can you do each day to help make it happen?

Seeing Good at Work

An inspiring example of change at a social and individual level, Oakland’s Operation Ceasefire reduces gun violence through life coaching and data analysis. One study directly ties it to a 32% reduction in homicides. But the program took over a decade and three different attempts to finally stick.

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Now that I have a couple of months of the newsletter under my belt, I would be incredibly grateful for your feedback. If you have ideas, criticism, or resources to share with me, please reach out.

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